My mind's will is very different from my flesh's will. My mind's will wants to do what is good for me; it wants the good things God wants and has for me. My flesh's will the majority of the time wants things that aren't good for me, things that do not align with God's will for my life. Sadly, my free will all too often chooses my flesh's will no matter the negative consequences to come because of those choices.
Battle after battle after battle, the fighting for my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being never stops. I'm really so very tired of fighting. And, here's the thing. I'm doing this to myself! It doesn't have to be this hard. The struggle is real, but not necessary.
So, what's the answer? It has to be total surrender to God's will. So what is God's will as far as my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being are concerned? How about this? I'll tell you what it's not!!! It's not me always being fatigued because of excess weight on my body or my body's lack of muscle tone due to my constantly being sedentary. It's not the mental, emotional, or spiritual fatigue I feel because of the constant battling of what I am or am not going to eat or whether or not I'm going to exercise. It's not the anguish I feel when I look in the mirror and don't like what I see because of the abuse I've put my body through. It's not the brokenness I feel when I have to face the fact that I've CHOSEN once again the flesh's desire and negative consequences that brings.
BUT, there's great news! That news is that God never gives up on me!! And I don't have to give up on me either! What I do have to do is SURRENDER....to Him....to what He wants for me. My way doesn't work. It has never worked! If I want to be free from my flesh's control I must intentionally surrender my choices to God every single day, choice after choice after choice.
Let's look at the definition of surrender: to yield (something) to the possession or power of another: deliver up possession of on demand or under duress.
Now let's look at how that applies to my well being. I've italicized and underlined the key words as they apply to this. The 'something' is CHOICES, the 'to the power of another' is TO THE POWER OF GOD, the 'deliver up possession' is to GIVE THE CHOICE MAKING TO GOD, and the 'under duress' is the COMPULSION that is so powerful and debilitating in my life.
God has delivered me from the control of junk food. He has removed the desire to eat it from me and I am so very thankful for that. PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!!!
But, oh there is still much delivering to be done. It's time for me to do my part and truly surrender the other issues I have with food, not just for a period of time, but for good. I did very well with surrendering from October to the end of June but have really struggled since then. And every day that goes by the devil coaxes me to wait 'one more' day before I go back to healthy living. He has tried his best to do it today and to be honest with you it almost worked. But, because I had planned to start this blog today and didn't want to put the blog off any longer, I stood strong. I knew if I could just start writing that God would give me the words to say and that the words would encourage me to make the choice to surrender; to His will, to healthy choices, to freedom over compulsive eating. And He did!! Hallelujah!!
